Resolving Conflicts

I often hear from Scouters and parents who ask me to help them resolve Scouting problems involving a personality conflict, a disappointment, or other difficulty. Here’s a few recent examples – A parent of Scout who was disappointed by the outcome of an election was pretty sure that the election was unfair. Someone who wanted the Scoutmaster in their troop to hold youth leaders to a higher level of “accountability”. A Scoutmaster who wanted to find a policy that would keep an interfering parent from attending camping trips....

When the Emperor has no new clothes… it’s sort of embarrassing for everyone isn’t it? Listen to my response to those (thankfully few) troops who decide to create their own requirements. Adding to the requirements is as misguided as subtracting from them, and sends a mixed message to the youth we serve. In the email segment of this podcast we answer questions about whether a Scoutmaster should step down if his son becomes the senior patrol leader, Scouting urban legends, resolving conflicts with parents, how much the Scoutmaster is involved in Eagle paperwork, disciplining Scouts, and more on the mechanics of patrol formation,...

Podcast Episode (00:23:53): Download MP3 Listen to Scoutmaster Podcast 234 | Sponsored By ScoutmasterCG.com Backers Getting along has more to do with us than others… I get plenty of email from folks who are having problems getting along with their fellow volunteers or Scouts. Is there a simple answer that would resolve most conflicts and difficulties in Scouting? I think there is! Join me in Kandersteg next summer! Details Here....

Podcast Episode: Download MP3 Listen to Scoutmaster Podcast 217 | Sponsored By ScoutmasterCG.com Backers From time to time I receive email from Scouters who have some basic disagreement with the way the program is being presented in their unit. These disagreements aren’t over things that endanger Scouts, the disagreements are usually around the application of the patrol system or youth leadership. This can be very frustrating. What do you do if you find yourself in a situation like this?...

Sometimes all we need to solve our biggest problems is a slight shift in attitude. What would things be like if our first assumption was goodwill? The patrol leader who forgot to do something may have honestly forgotten to do it, not just ignored their responsibility. I forget all kinds of things! Assume goodwill. The Scout that earned three merit badges last month may just have worked hard to achieve something rather than trying to get around your standards....

Scout leaders are constantly called on to resolve conflicts, make decisions and provide direction. We do these things better when we are able to be calm, non-judgmental and unbiased. I can be easily upset and that leads to getting upset about being upset and that leads to being reactive, judgmental and unpleasant. I admire unflappable people, I aspire to be unflappable. Unflappable people are not easily perturbed or excited or upset; marked by extreme calm and composure; remain levelheaded; are unswayed by adversity or excitement; don’t get frustrated or irritated easily; are poised, calm, and self-controlled....

Here’s an email that I get fairly regularly asking me to help resolve Scouting trouble: “My son’s (Pack, Troop, Crew) is having real difficulties with our (Scoutmaster, Cubmaster, Advisor, Committee Chair) and our program is (poor, indifferent, terrible). I’m only a (Den Leader, Assistant Scoutmaster, Committee Member, parent) but I want to try and fix this situation to benefit the (Cubs, Scouts, Venturers). What’s your advice?” I reply: Find another (Pack, Troop, Crew) that better matches the way you think Scouting ought to be as soon as possible....

Our Troop Committee Chairman has stepped down and another parent has volunteered. This is fine and I look forward to working with her. The problem is with her husband is a military man used to having people answer to him. He’s already commented loudly when something displeased him at a meeting “there are going to be changes next year”. He called me the other night wanting to make changes to the program for our next Court of Honor and changes to our openings at troop meetings....

Anyone who spends several years as a Scoutmaster will end up arguing with a fellow Scouter, committee member, or parent. While these conflicts aren’t inevitable they are unfortunately probable. What follows is plain-spoken advice from Ask Andy, a fantastic resource for Scouters with questions or difficulties. Having weathered several of these conflicts I can assure you that this is solid advice. Study it carefully and follow it faithfully – it will save you a great deal of heartache....